Insider Outsider

​A little over a year ago I read Bryan Loritts’ book, Insider Outsider: My Journey as a Stranger in White Evangelicalism and My Hope for Us All. In light of the tragic deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, and others, and the protests that have taken place in America, I have picked up this book again. Rereading this book, as well as speaking with two very dear Christian brothers of color, has begun to help show me a way forward. My prayer is that you will give these quotes by Pastor Loritts and my comments your attention, and that you would be led to take active steps towards loving everyone made in God’s image.

There are many things that paralyze people from pursuing racial reconciliation; one is claiming that we don’t know how. Sadly, this leads many to do nothing at all. To anyone reading this who has ever felt that paralysis, Pastor Loritts provides advice for how to move forward:

“The way forward is not an appeal to the facts as a first resort, but an attempt to get inside each other’s skin as best as we can to feel what they feel and to seek to understand it. Tragedies such as the Michael Brown shooting in Ferguson [I would add Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd to this list] are like MRIs that reveal the hurt that still lingers, and the chasm that exists between ethnicities can only be traversed if we move past facts and get into feelings.” (29)

Pastor Loritts then goes on to explain the 5 levels of communication: (1) cliché, (2) facts, (3) opinions, (4) feelings, and (5) transparency. Cliché is the shallowest form of communication and transparency the deepest. He goes on to explain that when something is troubling his wife she often approaches him with feelings. His temptation is to stick to the facts. This is no recipe for intimacy. In order to achieve oneness with his wife he must understand his wife’s feelings before he is able to go back to facts. Facts are the most important thing in a court of law, but when it comes to human relationships, we need to first seek how others feel before we attempt to appeal to facts.

We would do well to remember that while our feelings can be contrary to facts, that this is not always the case, especially in regard to the feelings that are leading many in America to protest. These feelings of frustration and anger are a result of centuries of racial oppression, which is sadly an indisputable fact in our country.

In response to this teaching on feelings and facts, Bryan Loritts’ goes on to explain,

“Herein lies the problem. When racial incidents happen, people of color typically rush to feelings (level 4), while many of our white siblings stay at level 2-appealing to facts. This is not the path to multiethnic empathy and harmony. Before we sort through the facts, we must first learn to listen to and feel with one another.” (30)

Will you join me as I learn to listen to and feel with one another? Will you shake off the paralysis and begin to love others as yourself (Mark 12:31)? Many of us know our own feelings; now it’s time for us to genuinely seek to understand the feelings of others.

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Author

Chris Chappell is the Associate Pastor - Student Ministry at Peninsula Community Chapel